Showing posts from July, 2007

Marriage - A Mutual Gift

"Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church. " ~ John Paul II

Summer Memories

Memories Maggie, Taylor, Megan and Paige will remember and cherish. Gatherings with family during the summer filled with love, friendship, and bonding.

Which Way Is Up

At times I wonder which way is up...Dave and I went to Maine this weekend. We have plans to move back to Maine in five years and so we looked the land we hope to build on. I miss it a little more each time we go home to visit. I couldn't wait to leave ten years ago and now I find I can't wait to go back.


If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.”

~ Winnie the Pooh

Gotta Be Hip

I commented on Minh's Myspace page and Minh's response made me smile because I could picture Mai asking her those questions in her way.

"How are you? FYI...Mary's (your sister) been snooping around your myspace page."

"Yea, I know. She asked me about this "internet picture thing." She said she saw my pictures when she was in Maine. I told her it's way tooo complicated for her to understand. "What do you mean you friend people??! Do you call them and ask them to be your friend? I don't get it." But my profile's private so she can't snoop too much. lol. She tries soo hard to be hip. Gotta love her for it."

Five Stages of Grief

Hoang Some days my grief and sadness over Hoang’s death is quite overwhelming and today seems to be one of them. There’s no progression through the five stages of grief. I waiver between the stages of denial, anger and depression and I don’t think I was ever at bargaining. How can you bargain for a life that is gone? Acceptance will be a stage that I don’t know I will ever reach. I know she’s gone but I can’t accept it. Every song reminds me of her and I start to tear up. There’s no joy to shopping because I think about how much Hoang would love this or that. A book momentarily takes the thought of Hoang’s death away, but I can’t go through my day with my nose in a book.

Subconsciously I think of her. The other night Dave asked me a question (I don’t even remember what he was asking me) and instead of saying, “Dave” and giving my response, I said, “Hoang”. Dave picked it up because I could see him momentarily flinch.

Someone asked me if you have to follow the five stages of grief in orde…

My Everything

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play you're coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
~Michael Buble

Freudian Slip

Alex and Maddie welcomed a new sister (Giada Elizabeth) into the world on June 30th. Dave received the email notice on July 8th and to my surprise he forwarded the email to me this morning. That's 5 days since received it. The other day he mentioned that Jason sent him an email about a baby. Of course, when I asked him about it he didn't say anything. I didn’t know that Liz was expecting. Was it a Freudian slip? Was he avoiding "our" baby subject, which comes up often when the word children or babies is mentioned in my presence? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he's been very busy lately and it just simply slipped his mind.


click to englarge
It seems that Cathy and I are following the same path. I can relate to her. Over three years ago when Dave and I (mainly me) were planning our wedding Cathy was doing the same thing. Now she's discussing babies plan.

While we were growing up it seems that we're always told that everyone progresses at their own pace and everyone is different. As we get older it seems that we all catch up. It seems everyone around us is getting married , buying that house and having babies. How do we distinguish ourselves from the person next to us?

Angels among us

Are there angels among us? On my way up to Maine, I kept thinking about this. Was Hoang an angel who was sent to us for a purpose? Children love and adore her. They are the best judge of character. Do children know or see something that we don't? Their innocence holds no boundary which may allow them to see through barriers that as adults we can not see.

Thinking of this makes me think about the song by Alabama, "Angels Among Us". Perhaps Hoang was an Angel among us.

Angels Among Us
Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.

When life held troubled times, and had me down on my knees.
There's always been someone there to come along and comfort me.
A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand.
A phone call from a friend, just to say I understand.
And ain't it kind of funny that at the dark end of the road.

In Memory of Hoang

Hoang's Eulogy
November 1980-May 2006

As we were going through Hoang’s room this past weekend our thoughts kept coming back to two things. One, Hoang would be so mad to see the mess we’ve made of her room, we found ourselves neatly putting things back in the places we found them. The other thing that we found was the poem Hug O’War by Shel Silverstein written on the first page of all of her journals.

Hug O'War
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

This quote best describes Hoang and was her life’s view. She quietly tipped toed around your heart consuming a small percentage of it never letting you know the true impact she was making. She knew the sum of the little things had as much impact as one large thing. Hoang had the patience to sit with her nephew and teach him the timetables, to watch …

Yes Dear

I ran across this today. This puts a smile on my face. When Dave wants to push my buttons he'll say, "Yes, Dear" and when I look at him he'll have this lopsided grin on his face. The other thing he loves to do is play my messages over and over again. When I leave Dave a message on the answering machine rather than delete it like most normal people he leaves it on the machine. When I get home, he'll play it, knowing I going to yell at him. He knows I hate to listen to my own voice and he plays the message to get a reaction out of me. I can picture him upstairs trying to hold back his laughter.

I Always Come Back

2007 297
Originally uploaded by tnhill This morning I work up and I just wanted to stay in bed all day with Dave. Dave's been working so much I haven't seen his beatiful face much. He's always running a mile a minute.

I asked him, "Why are you always leaving me?"
"But I always come back to you."

It's so true. Dave's always there for me.

From the beginning

My name is Thuy and my journey is just beginning. Hopefully by the time you view this blog, I will be pregnant. Why start trying now? It's been a 1 month and 10 days since Hoang's death. There are days where I feel overwhelmed by what has happened and I just don't want to believe it. Little things remind me of her and I start to feel my eyes burning and wish I could turn back the clock. Hoang was a wonderful sister and aunt. I know that my children would have loved her.

I am not getting any younger and there are lessons to learn from Hoang's death. Everything could change in a blink of an eye. I took for granted that my life would be perfect forever. That my sisters would be there when I had my first child. They would be there to hold him or her, buy the cute little outfits, pose for the cheek to cheek photo and to share every big milestone with them .

Hoang is one of the reasons why I want to start trying. Dave and I have had our numerous discussions about starting a fa…